To the Woman in Her 40s or 50s: I See You

There is something about this season of life that no one really prepares you for.

You’re managing a marriage.

Kids who somehow need you just as much as they did when they were little — only now the problems are bigger.

A career. A business. A household.

Appointments. Practices. School. Work deadlines. Groceries. Laundry. Aging parents. Relationships.

You’re trying to work out because you know you should.

Trying to eat well because apparently protein, fiber, hydration and sleep are now a full-time job.

And somewhere in the middle of all of it, your hormones decided to completely change the rules.

Welcome to your 40s.

Or your 50s.

It’s beautiful.

It’s exhausting.

And some days, it’s a lot.

I See You

I see the woman who wakes up already thinking about what everyone else needs from her that day.

I see the woman trying to be a good wife, a present mom, successful at her job, a good friend and somehow still find enough time to take care of herself.

I see the woman staring at her closet thinking, Why does nothing fit the way it used to?

The woman wondering why the workout that worked five years ago suddenly isn’t working anymore.

The woman waking up at 3 a.m. for absolutely no reason.

The woman walking into a room and forgetting why she went in there.

The woman who feels confident one day and completely disconnected from herself the next.

And I especially see the woman who has spent so many years taking care of everyone around her that she sometimes forgets to stop and look at herself.

Not critically.

Not looking for what needs to be fixed.

Just looking at herself.

You Are Allowed to Change

Your body at 45 does not have to look like your body at 25.

Your body at 52 does not have to look like your body at 32.

You’ve lived since then.

Maybe you’ve carried babies.

Raised children.

Built a career.

Built a marriage.

Started over.

Lost people.

Loved people.

Stayed up all night with sick kids.

Worked incredibly hard.

Laughed until your stomach hurt.

Made mistakes.

Figured things out.

Changed your mind.

Changed your priorities.

Changed as a woman.

Of course your body has changed too.

That doesn’t make this version of you less worthy of being appreciated.

When Did You Stop Being Part of the Picture?

Moms are usually the ones taking the pictures.

We document everyone else.

The birthdays.

The vacations.

The first days of school.

The Christmas mornings.

The sports.

The graduations.

The everyday moments we know we’re going to miss someday.

But somewhere along the way, a lot of women slowly disappear from the photographs.

Maybe you don’t love the way you look right now.

Maybe you tell yourself you’ll take pictures after you lose ten pounds.

After you get back into a workout routine.

After life calms down.

After the hormones settle.

After you feel more like yourself again.

But what if this is yourself?

Not the finished version.

Not the version you’re working toward.

You. Right now.

There is something incredibly powerful about deciding this version of you deserves to exist in photographs too.

This Is One of the Reasons I Love Boudoir So Much

A boudoir session isn’t about pretending you’re 25 again.

I actually think that’s the least interesting reason to do one.

It’s about seeing the woman you are now.

The woman who has lived.

The woman who has built things.

The woman who has taken care of people.

The woman who has been stretched in a hundred different directions and somehow keeps showing up.

The woman who is still sexy.

Still feminine.

Still powerful.

Still interesting.

Still worthy of being celebrated.

You don’t need to become a different version of yourself before you walk into my studio.

You don’t need to lose weight first.

You don’t need to suddenly become comfortable in lingerie.

You don’t need to know how to pose.

You don’t even need to feel completely confident when you arrive.

That’s my job.

Your job is simply to show up.

Maybe You Need Something That’s Just Yours

Not for your kids.

Not for your husband.

Not for your job.

Not because somebody needs something from you.

For you.

Maybe that’s a boudoir session.

Maybe it’s taking the trip.

Maybe it’s signing up for the class.

Maybe it’s buying the dress.

Maybe it’s spending Saturday morning doing absolutely nothing without feeling guilty about it.

Whatever it is, I hope you start giving yourself permission to take up a little space in your own life again.

Because there will always be another thing that needs to be done.

Another email.

Another load of laundry.

Another practice.

Another deadline.

Another reason to put yourself at the bottom of the list.

And I don’t want you to wake up ten years from now and realize you spent an entire decade waiting to appreciate yourself.

To the Woman in Her 40s or 50s…

I see you.

I see how much you’re carrying.

I see how hard you’re trying.

I see how strange it can feel to watch your body and your life change at the same time.

But I also see something else.

A woman who knows herself better than she ever has.

A woman who has stories.

A woman who has strength.

A woman who doesn’t need to look 25 to be beautiful.

A woman who deserves to look at herself with a little more kindness.

A little more pride.

And maybe even a little awe.

You have spent years appreciating everyone else.

Don’t forget to appreciate the woman who made so much of it possible.

And if you’ve been waiting for permission to do something that reminds you she’s still in there…

Consider this your permission.

You don’t need to become her again.

You already are her.